He's Home

Our son came home on January 21st.  Catch up with our family at our blog, http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/.

Orphanage Update

Keanan is energy in motion. He is a delightful little boy who bounds from one activity to the next, always relishing each moment. He is rarely aware of my presence when is playing as he is so consumed, but if he becomes aware that I am watching him he is momentarily still. He is almost always the dirtiest boy in the house as he tackles his play so forcefully. He is a joy to watch as his smile is nearly always present.

Keanan enjoys everything - swinging, climbing, jumping, kicking balls, throwing balls, running, riding the tricycles – you name it. He is perpetually on the move – unless he realizes I’m trying to catch him with my camera and then I glimpse an unexpected moment of shyness.
Keembert interacts well with the other boys and I cannot at the moment recall a time that I have seen him at odds with any of them. He is polite and a willing helper when it comes time to pick up the toys.

Keembert is a healthy eater, and is growing and developing well in every aspect. I do not have any concerns about him at this time.

My Thoughts Exactly

Jafta has figured out that I'm pregnant. I haven't said anything yet, so I'm not sure if someone told him, or if he's just suspicious of my growing belly. For 10 weeks pregnant, I somehow look 6 months pregnant. Anyways, on our way home from preschool today, he asked me if there was a baby growing in my tummy. I told him yes. And then he asked me what kind of baby it was going to be. "A new baby", I said. And Jafta replied:

"OH!! I want it to be Keanan! I want to go see Keanan tonight and bring him home!!!"

I hear ya, buddy.

It makes me so sad to know that he will probably come home well after this baby is born. I want Keanan home in a big way. Our family feels incomplete, and as excited as I am about a new baby, it also feels heavy to know that life moves on as we have one member not with us. It's interesting how Jafta, at 3, so often articulates the feelings that are laying beneath the surface for me.

Photos from Haiti

I love when I sit down to check my email and find photos of Keanan from the orphanage. This series had me smiling. Look at the "I'm gonna throw a rock at you" fake-out. I especially love the mischief in his smile on the middle shot. What a cutie! He will fit right in.

Orphanage Update

Weight: 30 pounds
Height: 37 inches

Steady Keane is going along contently. He is becoming more verbal calling housemates and nannies by name. He still eats a lot and sleeps a lot – more than anyone else. His nanny laughs about it. We all know that Keane is the man when it comes to food and sleep.

He gives life his all. He loves balls, racing the bikes with the other kids (he has not been the winner yet – slower and steady) and loves to climb. Up the window of course.

He is doing OK on the potty and uses it correctly most of the time. He is getting it slow but sure.

Spaghetti remains his favorite food although if it’s food he’ll eat it. He screams a lot, plays hard, sleeps hard, runs hard and just lives life with gusto. We like him!

- Beth

Orphanage Update

Weight: 29 ½ pounds
Height: 35 inches

Since his height and weight have stayed the same I assume it’s safe to say he is leveling off from his growth spurt. That is not to say that he isn’t eating huge amounts of food – he still is. He eats a lot and sleeps a lot.

Keembert went back to his screaming (when happy) self when mom, dad, brother and sister left. Although he seemed to enjoy them the real Keembert did not surface totally while they were here. The carefree Keembert screams in delight, plays hard, and loves life. He can also scream in sadness and tantrum. He does everything in a big way.Parents just need to stay longer so he can be comfortable enough to be himself.Keembert seems on target for his chronological age. His behavior and cognitive abilities are definitely in the normal range.Keembert is a perfect fit for his new family. He is a darling little guy who loves life, loves his nanny and is thriving. I have no major concerns about him. He is healthy and happy.

Family Photos

Mama and Papa Keanan

We are back in Port-au-Prince, and focused on getting some quality time in with Keanan. Before our little country excursion, I was feeling really dismayed that Keanan seemed so dazed and confused around us. He was like a deer in headlights - very quiet and subdued - but we kept hearing stories about what a little comedian he was. Well, the past two days he has shown his true colors, and it is a delight. He is hilarious. He is quite the little flirt once he got comfortable around us.

But with that comfort has come bonding, and this part is tearing me up. Even though he is only 18 months old, he gets that we are here for him. He got upset today any time Mark set him down. We took him to church with us this morning, and when I went to drop him off at the orphanage for his nap, he cried and cried. This evening, we were playing and then all of us starting getting ready to go for the evening. He noticed, and again started really crying. This made me start to bawl, not just because he was sad, but just realizing how much he is in need of family. An orphanage is no place for a child, no matter how well it's run.

We had a conversation tonight with the orphanage director. He told us we need to get an update from one of his staff members tomorrow about the adoption status. But from the brief things he said, it doesn't sound like good news. I think we are waiting for approval from the very first Haitian office (of three). They have had our paperwork for almost a year. It's looking like years, as opposed to months, before he comes home. This orphanage has not had a child go home in the last year.

I'm not sure why God has allowed us to be involved in such excrutiating adoptions. First Jafta, now this. I thought that things with Jafta were particularly difficult because we were living as a family during the time of uncertainty. But now, I think that having a child living in an orphanage is by no means a better option. The children here all call us "mama and papa keanan" . . . and it's both delicious and heartbreaking to hear that all day.

A Reprieve in the Countryside

Yesterday was a tough day. Today was much better. We spent time with Keanan in the morning at the orphanage. We hung back and just watched, instead of being overeager and hovering. He was so cute and fun today.

Around noon, we boarded a very, very small plane to head to Port-de-Paix. The plane ride was an experience. Only 12 passengers, and all the luggage was just piled in the back. The pilot had his hand sticking out of the front window the duration of the flight. I think it was a little low on oxygen because the entire plane fell asleep. (with the exception of the pilot, fortunately).

Port-de-Paix is a small fishing village where some dear friends of mine run a school. Cara and I have been friends since we were babies. She and her family moved to Haiti when she was 8, and we have always kept in touch. I visited her when I was 16. She is responsible for my love of this country.

And they have air-conditioning. We are in heaven. Tonight Cara's mom prepared a Haitian feast. We are stuffed and feel safe, and we are sprayed down with DEET. It's good to be with old friends.

It is so great to visit with them, and see a softer, gentler side of Haiti. It is much safer here. You can walk around without fearing a mugging (or worse). They leave their doors unlocked. They seem to be friends with everyone in the village. It is a small-town feel, and the locals are loving on my kids. I'm not sure who is more popular - the little blonde white baby, or the black boy who speaks perfect English. Either way, they are both winning friends left and right. We went to the beach tonight, and Jafta saw lots of fishing boats. He began talking about how HE wanted to be in a boat. And wouldn't you know, two boys paddled up and offered him a ride. They both looked about 10, and one of them was not wearing anything but a t-shirt. And yet, I let my son ride around in their boat because it seemed like such an epic moment for him.

Pressed Down on All Sides

Today was a hard day. I'm feeling pretty taxed in every way possible.

I am emotionally drained. Visiting Keanan is hard. It is always a relief to see how well he is cared for. But it's also disheartening how uncomfortable he is with us. I know that it is normal, and even developmentally appropriate, that he isn't jumping into our arms. We showed up enthusiastic, excited and smothering, and he reacted. He wanted nothing to do with us. I know that this is a GOOD THING. It shows he is bonded to his nanny. It shows he discriminates with who he gives affection. As a therapist, I know that is good. But it's still hard. It took him a long time to warm up to us. We took him to dinner with us, and he was sad and unresponsive all evening. But then when we took him back to the orphanage, he ran around hugging every kid several times, and seemed like the happy, engaging boy we have heard about. I wish he was that boy more with us.

I am mentally drained. It is hard trying to give three kids your attention. Especially when they are each clingy in their own way: two because they are away from home in a strange place, and one because he is away from home with strange people. We are staying with the missionary couple that runs the orphanage, who we absolutely adore. But their home is a scary place for toddlers: India has been pinned to the ground by a bull mastiff puppy on two occasions, and continually falls down their tile stairs. Jafta slipped and fell in a puddle where the puppy had an accident, thereby covering himself in dog pee. Mark was electricuted by a switchplace trying to turn on the light. I feel like I cannot let these kids out of my sight for one second.

I am physically drained. I really cannot explain the heat here. It is immobilizing. Several times, I hve caught Mark just kind of sitting there, spaced out and staring off into the distance, not paying attention to anything. We call it a heat coma. We are soaked in sweat, all day. My daughter is the color of a tomato, just from being so hot, and we all have wet hair from being drenched in sweat. The shower does not work, the electricity is spotty, and it seems like there is no escape from the heat. I seriously don't know how people live here.

The house is asleep but I am having difficulty sleeping, with the events of today swimming in my head. Adoption is a hard thing. I am also discouraged that there seems to be very little movement on the adoption front. I don't know when Keanan will every come home. I'm feeling pretty sad about that tonight. I'm feeling overwhelmed all the way around, and I'm already longing to be home.

The Paradox of Haiti

We have finally arrived in Haiti. It's really hard to describe Haiti. It is exactly like you see on tv, and nothing like you see on tv. It continues to be a country plagued by violence, political unrest, unemployment, hunger, and abject poverty. This has lead to a culture of dishonestly as a coping strategy, on large and small scales. There is a desperation that gives way to crime. There are kidnappings for ransom. People are robbed. Homes are guarded with armed men. You don't go out on the streets at night. You stay behind the gates as much as possible. There is also a spiritual opression here that is nearly palpable. Haiti has a long history with voodoo, and its presence permeates the island. That, along with the sweltering heat, sometimes makes it feel like the air is literally harder to breath.

And yet . . .

There is still some unexplainable part in me that LOVES this country. The people are kind and friendly and generous. They are helpful and considerate. And just . . . likeable. And so, while I felt so freaked about before we came about all of the statistics, and news stories, and travel advisories against Haiti, when we stepped off the plane, I felt relieved. It's Haiti. I know this place. I like this place. We're gonna be okay.

Packing Up!

We leave for Haiti in the wee hours tonight, and it feels like we've been packing for the last week. We are like santa's workshop over here. Our house was full of toys, clothes, and supplies for the orphanage. We filled four suitcases, and then still had some room, so Mark went to Target and bought four trikes to put in the last two suitcases! I can't wait for the kids to see them. We also have 10 lbs of Starbucks coffee for John and Beth, who run the orphanage. They deserve it! They work so hard and they are amazing people.

We've been training Jafta to sleep in a tent, so that we can cover it with a mosquito net while in Haiti. He thinks it's great fun. I laid out the kid's clothes and sprayed them with mosquito repellant, bought lots of DEET, and we've all been taking malaria pills. Except for Mark - he has taken no precautions and scoffs at my efforts. If he gets malaria, DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.

Also, a huge THANK YOU to all of you who donated toys, meds, suitcases, and money. We have over $600 to give to the orphanage for rising food costs.